On Being Kind To Yourself When Things Go Down South

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

You know when things go down south, it's easy to get disillusioned. Especially when you're already feeling the brunt of all negativity life has a way of pulling out on you. It is so easy to give up. To submerge yourself in fear and self-loathing. You can't see straight. And when emotions run high, they consume you like wild fire ravaging everything in its path. The trick, is to wait it out. Your emotions will screech to a halt and then you make your move.

I know this from riding on an endless emotional roller-coaster of my youth. It was scary when I tried to catch a sense of stability wrought in passing emotions that could never bring peace. How could they? They seemed to arise and go away, only to visit me some other time, depending on moods and other external factors. You cannot based your next move on emotions alone.

Add a perceived feeling of utter loneliness that nobody would ever understand the pain that you've been put through, it is a no surprise that you want to give in, self-destruct and if you're still physically here, live like a zonked out zombie hating on a world that clearly isn't made for one as fragile as you.

You see nothing in the gestures of people who would like to help you, when you're blinded by chronic obsessive introspection. No one can get through to you when you're walled up, darling.

But if you can find strength no matter how fleeting it is within you, hold on to it. Give it a chance. Strength does not mean that you're fearless. There's a gentle vulnerability in it too. Your mind can be your greatest enemy and it can also be a friend. If you have someone who truly sees you for the way you are, seek the company of that person. Let him/her help you.

There's no such thing as a life experience without getting your bum kicked every once in a while. And usually, the first time that your proverbial posterior end gets that flying sidekick, you're going to howl, curse and feel terribly angry and frightened and ready for revenge.

But you know what? You have not really met 'you' yet. The one who will pull you out of your the blues is quite frankly, your own self. You can of course get some cheerleaders to jump, dance and occasionally throw poms poms in the air but the capacity to move yourself from the rotting mental state is rightfully inside of you. That is, once you stop battling the imaginary little battle with yourself.

And to make you feel a little less sore, I would love for you to take a listen to a song by Mikey Wax called 'Counting On You'. While the most direct interpretation of the lyrics would say that he is counting on another person to not run away, stay with him as he goes through this strange emotion; I feel the words could also be directed to the person within us, who we ought to get comfortable counting on.

When all's said and done, trashed and burnt, we should learn to trust and be kind to ourselves. Be that best friend we always wanted to have. However most corny that that sounds, it's something that I keep in my mind considering that I can be my own worst critic, I'd put Simon Cowell to shame!



“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”-Golda Meir

This post is especially dedicated to the author of a thoroughly addictive blog called k0k bL0k. If you haven't had the opportunity to read his thoughts and musings, I would suggest that you get on with it ASAP.

Image Credit:
Angel of Kindness by Rain Ririn
Love Yourself by Micki Wilde


shanaz@RS | 2:18 AM | Labels:

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