Self-Censorship Owns MeFriday, October 19, 2012
|Silence by Mariusz Lewandowski|
I’m not the cleanest person but I make it a habit to spring clean my home every time the floor looks and feels icky to my sight and the soles of my pretty sensitive feet.
It’s really nothing to be blogging about but hey, before this site turns into a seriously creepy cobwebby cemetery, I really shouldn't be that picky about my intro paragraph.
I’m not sure what exactly has put me off from ranting away on my blog like every other netizens out there.
One of the reasons could be that because I want to be writing things that I shouldn't be writing about. With the climate of conservatism that this country has ridiculously built itself around lately, my fingers refuse to type and my mind distracts its own self.
I wish I could just take Julian Assange's message to not self-censor to heart and start spewing controversial yet wise lines with passion and honesty to the highest degree, but before I even start, I've already hit the snooze button.
It’s tough to feel like you’re bursting with something, an idea or two and then having to automatically put a seal on it. Not that anyone’s pointing a gun to my head and forcing me to not write. I don't know what my problem is. Do you?
Writing about one’s intricate personal views on matters under the sun feels so very cliché these days that I can’t help but to stop myself from surrendering to this shallow act of self-importance. But then again, every other thing in this life is so overrated.
To notice this and then to acknowledge that there's nothing I can do about this overratedness has caused a consternation that is hard to shake off. I've even went back to the classic way of using pen, recycled paper and dimly lit space to create a mood.
As I started initiating the first line with 'Dear Diary' to invoke the spirit of the clichéd teen that I used to be, I realized that...
...somewhere along the blogging road, I've acquired a defeating mental block made worse by an insidious self-censoring mentality. Paranoia has sunk its yellow decaying teeth in my spirit.
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shanaz@RS | 6:14 AM | Labels: ramble therapy