Nagging Mothers: How To Stop A Nag Attack?

>> Wednesday, November 4, 2009

It is not uncommon to hear about nagging mothers. Complaints about nagging mothers will never be outdated. Sometimes, we wish our mothers would just stop the nagging habits but I guess talking to a cat that has no ability in understanding the noise coming out of your mouth, is a much easier task. I love my mother, but I hate the nagging. If you have a mother and she doesn’t nag, you can still read this article through to equip yourself in case you turn into a nag in the future or marry someone who is one. Well, you know I’m just kidding.

My mother thinks repetitive advice is the best advice. She feels that her message will be put across effectively and her children will take the message seriously. Here she would tell all who have ears to hear or eyes to read; since the subconscious mind has a lot of crap in it, we should all be grateful that her ‘repetitive advice’ will do us all a favor as it will push out some of the other crappy old stuffs kept at the dark corners of our subconscious. Though I do believe there is some sound truth sticking in there, nagging is not the smartest way for words of wisdom to be conveyed. It is just annoying.

When the nagging occurs at a time where you are least likely to respond in a good manner, a fight or a petty argument is sure to follow. While others may just succumb to whatever it is that their mothers are nagging about, in order to be left alone, I will often get confrontational. This would result in a succession of words being thrown back at forth, logic being twisted and facts being distorted until both parties have successfully created the best petty argument in the world. While bickering is funny to watch in movies, the reality begs a different story.

Petty arguments are just noise in nature. Nagging that triggers these types of arguments is best avoided at all cost and don’t you just hate petty arguments? I do. Nagging from people, not excluding your mother, can rub you the wrong way. Sometimes, you don’t plan to be rubbed the wrong way, it just happens. However, there is hope for you and me to get pass this global cross-cultural dilemma.

Alas, I have compiled a list of things that you can do to stop nagging from happening or while the nagging is happening. It is hard to stop a nagging once it has started but it is not impossible to reduce its intensity and length. Nagging is not a phenomenon only associated with mothers. It is usually a trait that is developed by persons who are closest to you. Here are things you can do to gradually reduce the nagging.

1-Remain open to the conversation, or appear relax and receptive during the nag attack.
Negative replies can escalate a nagging attack. Avoid triggering more nagging by remaining open to the conversation, even though it is one-sided as your mother tries to plant ideas into your head. The more willing you are to listen; the more relaxed your mother will be in her conversation, which is enough to stifle the nag at its bud.

2-Find the root cause of the nagging episode.
Naggers don’t start nagging for no reason unless there is such a thing as a pathological nagger. Often, there is a trigger to a nagging episode. Sit with your mother and let her share with you her worries and anxieties. Sometimes, a little heart-to-heart session with your mother is the trick to stop nagging from happening in the first place.

3-Include your mother not exclude her, even though you may be tempted.
As much as you want privacy and freedom of choice in your life, mothers want to be there to help you through your rites of passage. Nagging from your mother may just be a sign that she wants to be included as you make important decisions in your life. Your efforts to include her will make her grateful enough to reduce her nagging behavior.

4-Show that you are concerned about her by letting her talk about things that she’s worried about.
This is also the same as point number 2 where you spend a little time with your mother, by letting her talk about what’s bothering her. Rather than offering her solutions through what you are able to do, help her relax by allowing her to release some steam off by just listening to her.

5-Give your mother a compliment.
Yes, this is not a joke. And if you haven’t been saying anything nice about your mother in her presence, well now is the time. For once, tell your mother that you appreciate the things that she has done for you. A compliment must be sincere and try not to overdo it as she may get the wrong idea and start nagging about your repetitive compliments. You don’t want that now, do you?

6-Tell her that you appreciate her input.
When your mother gives her take on something, tell her that her input is greatly appreciated. Do tell her that her advice will be considered as you make your own decision as an adult. Nagging usually ceases when the nagging party feels heard.

7-Teach your mother ways to talk to you without resorting to the classic nagging approach.
A nagging mother who does not realize that she is being a nag can be a challenge. In cases like this, it would be most beneficial for you to be patient. Help your mother to learn ways to communicate with you without using the nagging approach. Prove to her that you are worthy of her non-nagging behavior.

8-Never resort to violence.
Here's a link to a story about a 26-year-old man who resorted to make the nag go away using the best instant method he could think off on his mother.

If you have unique and creative ways that you can think off to stop nagging, please do share it with me. Let's make the world a better place now shall we?

For those who have become a real nags, learn ways to deal with your own inclination to nag by reading my newest blog post on the subject:

How To Become Skillful At Nagging?

Image Credit:
No Nagging Sign Via Photobucket
The Annoyed Face by Creative Cookie

© All images are copyrighted by their respective authors.

Shanaz ALAbout Me
Fashion-stalker. Cat-lover. Word-stringer. More about me here. Please add my to your circles.

19 comments:

Guy Williams,  November 5, 2009 at 9:31 AM  

One helluva complex method to get pass naggy mums.. :) you ahh.. kiut miut la. :P

Written November 5, 2009 at 11:16 AM  

@Guy: Thank you for coming by and reading this. Some day you will come back and thank me for this insight. LOL!

nothingprofound November 6, 2009 at 7:48 AM  

Fortunately, my mom wasn't a nag and I never had to deal with this from her. Other relatives, however, disapproving of my laziness and total lack of ambition, would often offer much unwelcome advice. I agree that the best approach to deal with kind of nonsense is to be non-confrontational. I'd usually start daydreaming when they started to talk and didn't return to reality until they stopped. That way I gratified them with the illusion that I was listening and was able to indulge in a pleasant fantasy at the same time.

Written November 6, 2009 at 1:16 PM  

@NP: You got that right and I have pretty much learned to tune the nonsense out by the same technique that you just mentioned, UNLESS, my mouth got the better of me. =)

Thank you NP, for your very thoughtful comment.

reyah November 11, 2009 at 8:04 PM  

its a very natural for mum to nag.

Written November 14, 2009 at 8:09 AM  

@reyah: Yes, natural for some mums. :]

санжог November 27, 2009 at 10:49 AM  

The ultimate naginator is what you need. I usually use the ulimate weapon used mostly by women kind.

Reply with a retorical question:

Don't you love me any more?
what am I going to do without you?
Please NAG more, I need atleast 500 more Nags before I sleep!! please, please, please.

the best one: THIS GOES ON MY BLOG, where all the relatives visit.

Written November 28, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

@Joe: ha ha that would definitely work in the same line as reverse psychology would.

I "Loled" at your "please Nag more, I need at least 500 more Nags before I sleep!" Hilarious.

Sarcasm, if detected by smart Naggers, will in turn influence them to Nag even more. Noooo!!

Anonymous,  May 8, 2011 at 8:12 AM  

I THANK GOD THAT I DO NOT HAVE A
NAGGING MOTHER.
I DON'T THINK THIS IS GOOD ADVISE.
I THINK THAT THE T R U T H
WOULD BE MUCH BETTER. I SIMPLY
CANNOT LIE TO MY MOTHER AND THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD BE DOING IF
I FOLLOWED YOUR ADVISE. I'D BE
FEEDING THEIR FRENZY. I WOULD
RATHER BE HATED FOR THE TRUTH THAN
LOVED FOR A LIE. AND YOU?

shanaz@RS May 8, 2011 at 11:04 AM  

Dear Anonymous, this article does not suggest that anybody should lie to their mothers. Plus it was approached in a very light-hearted sarcastic way that you have apparently missed. But yes, I'm 100 per cent with you about telling the truth to my beloved mother - we're close that way! I wonder what brought you here since you don't have a nagging mother. Thank you for taking the time to drop a LOUD COMMENT! =)

Anonymous,  July 5, 2011 at 4:14 PM  

Hi,

Thanks for your sharing. I found this article very useful. From your article showed that mother needs our attention to listen back to her and show her appreciation. Guess, mothers are tired sometimes. Hope the mother get the strength from God to be a good mother for 24 hours everyday and 365 days every year.

whytevee,  October 17, 2011 at 9:19 PM  

my mom nags..and repeats her nags..and nowadays i fear i'm starting to develop the same characteristics..you know how children sometimes follow their parents' traits and all? *gulps*

Elaine,  April 10, 2012 at 6:45 AM  

This was interesting. My mum is a nagger. I usually end up in an argument wth her but she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say and I don't listen to what she has to say. It's ok though, once I finish college in a couple of months, off I go - far away to work somewhere and then hopefully in to my own flat for a nag-free life. However.. until i leave, i will probably get nagged about a few hundred things...

Anonymous,  July 2, 2012 at 4:22 PM  

My mom is a total nag at times, I think she is just bi-polar. I am in my mid thirties and get told EVERYDAY how to do this and that and don't do this and that, blah blah blah, like I am utterly incapable of of the littlest of tasks. It is really bothering and you feel like you wanna do something silly, but like someone else here said, I try and just keep quite and think of something else, which is sometimes hard, cause she check if I am listening to her. Urggh! I dream of living alone, or wished she was so old now that she needs special care and I can have some freedom. My mother is a burden to me, psychologically and financially.

Anonymous,  July 20, 2012 at 8:11 PM  

lucky for me i dont have a nagging mom......

BUT I HAVE A NAGGING DAD HA HA EVEN FRICKING WORSE!!!!

if i walk away he follows me and naggs some more ;_; when he starts to nag i usually step away from the kitchen because we have knives on the counter <.< i usually just say i have to go to the bathroom to avoid nagging, or i say thats a great idea im gonna write that down and run out of the room and dont comeback it works sometimes other times im trapped and i have to get hit for 1 to 2 hours by an endless nagging tsunami. try your best to avoid the naggs good luck. GULP

Nikolai L February 1, 2013 at 8:40 PM  

I have the most nagging mother in the world. I honestly think she is the champion of nagging. There will be literally silence then bam ! She is on me about everythin I have done in the past and goes on and starts predicting the future like miss nagging Cleo. I'm 22 in college and a full time job I have been captain of he basketball team graduatedd big school as the valedictorian I have been a successful son what the hell is her deal. I can't have peace. I will do every instruction in the house chores are done everything yet once I try to go to my room there's this voice that tells her nag him. I think she is insane because I literally argue wih her about nothing. I agree with her and she argues I disagree she argues ill say nothing and listen for hours then she snaps and argues. I can't get away form her she follows me everywhere in the house too. I can only run to the bathroom
Even then she speaks through the door. Idk what to do anymore. She's nagged me so badly even my gf has gotten annoyed and wanted to leave me for good. I'm telling u I'm the son of the reigning nagging champion.

Anonymous,  October 25, 2013 at 11:49 PM  

I wear earplugs because I need to concentrate. Then act like you can't hear, so you can concentrate, think, and do your thing.

Anonymous,  March 29, 2014 at 4:34 PM  

I share your thoughts entirely. I couldn't agree with you more. I think we are sisters as I have the same situation. I am in my late thirties and am to the brink of fainting. I wish my mother was dead. I hate her and her non stop profanities and her belligerence towards me. Everyday I am told I am worthless, have to get a better job and get a f-up by someone etc.... I take care of my cruel mother financially, she has never worked a day in her life and just cleans houses all day. She a germaphobe and makes everyone around her miserable. I think this is my punishment for having her as my mother.

Anonymous,  April 8, 2014 at 8:30 PM  

Any form of preventing my mom AND dad to nag is 'nothing'. Nothing works on them whether I ignore them or reason out in the right way with them. They're irritating, annoying, and any similar adjective everyone can think of. It's like 100 people trying to nag you at the same time even though they're only 2 people. They put a lot of stress on me when I already have a lot of problems in my life. They're not helping me at all. They don't take my pain and hurt seriously.

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