>> Wednesday, November 4, 2009
My mother thinks repetitive advice is the best advice. She feels that her message will be put across effectively and her children will take the message seriously. Here she would tell all who have ears to hear or eyes to read; since the subconscious mind has a lot of crap in it, we should all be grateful that her ‘repetitive advice’ will do us all a favor as it will push out some of the other crappy old stuffs kept at the dark corners of our subconscious. Though I do believe there is some sound truth sticking in there, nagging is not the smartest way for words of wisdom to be conveyed. It is just annoying.
Petty arguments are just noise in nature. Nagging that triggers these types of arguments is best avoided at all cost and don’t you just hate petty arguments? I do. Nagging from people, not excluding your mother, can rub you the wrong way. Sometimes, you don’t plan to be rubbed the wrong way, it just happens. However, there is hope for you and me to get pass this global cross-cultural dilemma.
Alas, I have compiled a list of things that you can do to stop nagging from happening or while the nagging is happening. It is hard to stop a nagging once it has started but it is not impossible to reduce its intensity and length. Nagging is not a phenomenon only associated with mothers. It is usually a trait that is developed by persons who are closest to you. Here are things you can do to gradually reduce the nagging.
1-Remain open to the conversation, or appear relax and receptive during the nag attack.
Negative replies can escalate a nagging attack. Avoid triggering more nagging by remaining open to the conversation, even though it is one-sided as your mother tries to plant ideas into your head. The more willing you are to listen; the more relaxed your mother will be in her conversation, which is enough to stifle the nag at its bud.
2-Find the root cause of the nagging episode.
Naggers don’t start nagging for no reason unless there is such a thing as a pathological nagger. Often, there is a trigger to a nagging episode. Sit with your mother and let her share with you her worries and anxieties. Sometimes, a little heart-to-heart session with your mother is the trick to stop nagging from happening in the first place.
3-Include your mother not exclude her, even though you may be tempted.
As much as you want privacy and freedom of choice in your life, mothers want to be there to help you through your rites of passage. Nagging from your mother may just be a sign that she wants to be included as you make important decisions in your life. Your efforts to include her will make her grateful enough to reduce her nagging behavior.
4-Show that you are concerned about her by letting her talk about things that she’s worried about.
This is also the same as point number 2 where you spend a little time with your mother, by letting her talk about what’s bothering her. Rather than offering her solutions through what you are able to do, help her relax by allowing her to release some steam off by just listening to her.
5-Give your mother a compliment.
Yes, this is not a joke. And if you haven’t been saying anything nice about your mother in her presence, well now is the time. For once, tell your mother that you appreciate the things that she has done for you. A compliment must be sincere and try not to overdo it as she may get the wrong idea and start nagging about your repetitive compliments. You don’t want that now, do you?
6-Tell her that you appreciate her input.
When your mother gives her take on something, tell her that her input is greatly appreciated. Do tell her that her advice will be considered as you make your own decision as an adult. Nagging usually ceases when the nagging party feels heard.
7-Teach your mother ways to talk to you without resorting to the classic nagging approach.
A nagging mother who does not realize that she is being a nag can be a challenge. In cases like this, it would be most beneficial for you to be patient. Help your mother to learn ways to communicate with you without using the nagging approach. Prove to her that you are worthy of her non-nagging behavior.
8-Never resort to violence.
Here's a link to a story about a 26-year-old man who resorted to make the nag go away using the best instant method he could think off on his mother.
If you have unique and creative ways that you can think off to stop nagging, please do share it with me. Let's make the world a better place now shall we?
For those who have become a real nags, learn ways to deal with your own inclination to nag by reading my newest blog post on the subject:
How To Become Skillful At Nagging?
No Nagging Sign Via Photobucket
The Annoyed Face by Creative Cookie
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