Life Advice For Moody Teenagers & Young AdultsTuesday, December 16, 2014
“The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.” ― Quentin Crisp
I decide to share some life lessons I've picked up over the years. The teenage years and early twenties have been a time of mental and emotional upheaval. I now know why that it was and had to be. When the world wants to box and categorize you in a certain way and you have not yet mold yourself into someone you are comfortable being, you tend to float with wherever the boat takes you. The boat is usually steered by your friends, strangers you think are cool and celebrities you think are edgy (for the time being).
But when you are also hyper-aware of the river of life, that goes on to push you here, there and everywhere else, you get seasick and can't wait to jump off the darn boat. This was the mood that reflected the soul-searching time of my late teens and the early adult years. It wasn't easy but I pulled through. It's hard to notice that it was a vital learning curve when you're told to shake the nonsense off and get back to the routine of being 'normal' which is like a copy of everybody else who appears 'normal'. Nobody ever is completely in the know. In fact, I am still learning about this life and my own idea of myself.
To summarize, here are a few gems of life lessons I have been lucky to grasp:
- Nobody teaches you in school that life isn't always hunky-dory but even if you are being taught of it, you will not fully grasp it. Until you suffer yourself, all you have is a theory of suffering.
- The boys and girls you obsess about will forever be enveloped in that time bubble. It's a short one as you look back but how it'd consumed you will teach something valuable about who you are and what you think of yourself.
- The little things that catch your attention and ruminate over and over may be peculiar to another person but pay attention as they may teach you something about yourself. I used to get into this unexplained state of upset that had to do with someone else's mistreatment that the line between myself and the other became blurred so much so that I started to absorb his or her pain. This became intolerable as I had my own demons to appease. I had to learn to create a safe space for myself, own it and not feel guilty for having it, to feel a modicum of sanity.
- Words break hearts and for some, they cripple them. Sometimes, you can't help it as you are only human. And you break. Those who knife you with mere utterings, are too. With time, you will understand that their words reflect their state of minds and what they have gone through or grow up with. It's wise to focus on things that do matter.
- Negativity must exist for you to do away with it. The negative as we identify of things that bring us suffering like jealousy, insecurity and other less desirable human conditions we tend to want to sweep off under the rug quickly so we can be that shiny happy type are opportunities to unearth sides of ourselves and what drive them into motion. Meditate on the negative that springs out of you. Understand why it is there.
- Jolly people who are up for a jolly good time are many but those that still sit with you when the parties are over are worth keeping close. Those that run off immediately after that may have their own demons to deal with. Set them free.
- There is nothing good that comes from feelings of superiority fueled by the teaching that states your faith is the truest one. I'm lucky to do away with such delusions and I still remind myself that layers of arrogance come in other shapes and forms as well. Snobbery, like the flu, is easy to catch.
- It's alright to feel like there is a black hole where the heart should be. When it starts to eat you from the inside, it's time to ask for help and surround yourself with positive energy. While this may not be easy at first, a step each day to the path of self-recovery starts with you wanting to do it for your own good. Get the skeletons out from the closet so you may flesh them out and have them on their merry way out the door.
To lighten things up, here are some of my creations from Polyvore:
Do you relate to any of the life lessons I have shared here? If you like this type of post, let me know! If you have anything to add, please do so down below as I'd love to read your thoughts!
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shanaz@RS | 3:44 AM | Labels: buddhalicious