The Illusion Of Change

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Illusion of Change

Turned off the ceiling light, turned on the table lamp, and here I am, typing because I realized that I have a blog-date tonight. Hey you, lady what is that you are thinking off. Hey man, don't say you are bored off crap, and the stuffs the light's trying to shine on catch your eyes, break you to tears. Crap, fellas don't tell me all this working around, partying away after working around, changing lives, changing people, and goals, get you somewhere. It does get you somewhere to look at it the way I see it, but you, you are the same.

Nothing's changed, you, your big grown-ass, you my lady/man/lady-man/animal, are still the same, in the innermost core, do not for a second think you have changed. I do not believe it for one second. Yeah. Sorry.

You. You threw all this away. You go some place, where they say it shines brighter than mid-day, the grass do not just stay green the other side where you are looking at. That said, you change your so-called 'face', yes now you say you are somebody else. The people you hang around with looks at you strange, not strange like weird, but strange like a burst of new energy, you baffled me.

You. I can't say that you made a mistake, now with all your new 'life', new shit every corner you let your eyes fall. Do you feel, in a sudden jolt, that whatever you were searching for, did not for once really become a sort of concrete that you can touch and feel it is there. It was never there, to begin with. Back again, to the time, you lost something, it caught up with you, stayed with you, is forever staying with you.

I hate that when they smile, and say, the weather is sunny, why don't we have a nice picnic and watch the sun raining down its rays to the world. Then let us be merry, now, we are evolving, we are happy, we are holding right on to where it will take us to some place we shall have a drink and say our thanks. We are the child of the one true lord. We must, child we must come along. Quick. Come, in stride. The flow of the river of life is ever constantly thrust in whatever directions, so hush now and ride with the flow.

Right now, there is no flow, the air is blasting against me. I am standing. Always the same, not for one bit I feel that I have truly in any way, have changed.

I remember the one point that as a young child, 12-years of age, I had prayed in a school compound, with eyes stretched out to the heavens, my hands on my chest, in my school uniform, I prayed for nothing more than this happiness and joy to stay, prolonged, never to end, till eternity, amen.

Right now though, I get lost in webs of long past, the strings pull me in and I drift. I drift away.

shanaz@RS | 1:20 AM | Labels:

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