Meander Series #20 Senses

Saturday, September 3, 2022

Meander Series #20 / Shanaz AL

The time there are words to be read in the form of my 20th Meander Series.




I have days that are too hot. And when it rains, it gets too wet, too cold. People's presence a prickly feeling in the seat of my soul. I don't particularly attach myself to these experiences but my senses become acutely aware of the need to turn inward. I heed it. The noises too shrill. The smells too potent. The movement too sudden. Everything has a double-edged knife quality. The comforting thing for me to do is to be by my side. Forget the rest. They can exist in their own worlds. Already, l feel better in my company.

Poem Title: A memory of a flower

Accents from a tree

Sprinkles of nature's smile

Through the color way

A memory of a flower

On a breezy day

A memory of petals

So delicate and regal

A memory of being 

So varied and simple

A memory of sweet nectar

To the ants that sip it

A memory of softness

Etched in the space

Of my perceiving


As l sit here looking out of the window, l think how beautiful is the light pouring into this room. I hear the call of prayer. I am invigorated by the scent of prayer in the air through smoky sandalwood incense, the form of prayer in the swaying of leaves and the eyes of a cat. As l sit here looking at the display in a distance shades of green, yellow, red and blue, l feel my pupils relax and contract in between my staring into the distance and closing on into this screen. I feel the changing intensity in the light as the clouds move. I hear the whirring of the fan, agitating the air as it keeps my body temperature at a comfortable range. I sit looking out of the window and l thank Life for another new and freshly-baked day.



I'm quiet when I just rise. I am wordless yet alert, though foggily perhaps. In the silence, I smile in my heart. On the outside, a grumpy face may usually be the exterior looking out. My mom mentions this moodiness. It's nothing new. The contrast between my smiling face and a neutral one is pretty much ocean wide.


There was a dandelion that entered my room through the small window opening. I am afraid of critters flying in so a slither of opening is at least something. There's a critter that hopped through one time and I had to engage in a behavior I would have preferred to avoid. I still am not comfortable enough to rescue a hopping critter. I had to take the life of a slithery one and how curious that I could only act within the context of variables present and felt absolutely shitty after.


Ever since I painted the back of the door matte grey, I refused to hang anything behind it. The grey looks so good even though it isn't a professional painter's job. In fact, it's unfinished. I've even decluttered the chair where I dumped layers of skirts and pants that then became an opaque mess. Now when I look at the door, there's a giant space compared to before but now there are things cluttering the floor. 


The rest of the Meander Series List:

Picture creditSuzy Hazelwood

shanaz@RS | 4:55 PM | Labels:

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